We have all been in relationships before. We know how frustrating they can be at their worst moments and also how amazing they can be at their best. Most importantly, we know that they are almost never going to last forever. People get so emotionally invested into their relationships—buying extravagant gifts for their partners, caring for them when they’re sick, even rejecting unsupportive family members that don’t want to see them together—that when it ends abruptly, their hearts feel like they’re literally ripped from their chests. The entire situation just ends on a bad note, usually with one party more hurt than the other. This possibly leading to someone violently lashing out and attacking their ex or destroying their property out of bitter rage.
If you’ve watched Cheaters before, you know exactly what I mean when I tell you how hectic breakups can be. Most of us know someone personally who has done this or have experienced this from another person. People act irrationally when they’re hurt and it can even be deadly.
Lately though, I noticed that there have been a lot of men going off and shooting random people that had literally nothing to do with their situation such as the Cleveland Facebook killer and the San Diego mass shooting. Steve Stephens was the boyfriend to Joy Lane for several years, and they had some issues like every relationship. He worked for Beech Brook which is a behavioral health agency for families and troubled children. During the video, he is quoted to have said “people would come to me with their problems, I would deal with my problems everyday. But when it comes to my problems, nobody gives a f*ck. It’s like I’m always the bad guy, no matter what the f*ck I do, people always making it out on me. Innocent people about to die today. Hopefully I’m going to try and kill as many people as I can….”
Such irony that he helped people with behavioral problems as his career, but was never given the help he needed. Judging from what he said in the video, it seems like he has no moral or emotional support. He either never sought it out from the right people, or he was rejected for complaining in the first place. Whichever situation it may have been, he did not have an outlet for his pent up rage and decided to express it with senseless violence. Of course, this is no one’s fault but his own but it brings into question of whether men should begin to open up more about their problems instead of letting it boil over and also whether this is an underestimated issue in this society.
The San Diego shooter named Peter Silis has a similar story. He broke up with his girlfriend days before going on a shooting rampage at the pool party in his apartment complex. His family described him as depressed, and maybe he most likely did not seek out the help he needed to recover from the bitterness. He called his girlfriend during the shooting for her to witness it over the phone. He may have wanted to guilt her for what he was doing. Either way, it ended tragically over something that could possibly had been avoidable if he received proper help.
Both situations involve troubled men not seeking out the attention they needed for the internal issues they had; in both cases, they blamed their girlfriends for what they were doing; in both cases, it seems like they never owned up to their violence—it’s someone else’s fault why they were doing this. Men with internal conflicts and depression need to tell people in an environment where they won’t be judged for being weak or sensitive. Just lend them a pair of unbiased ears that will let them pour out their sorrows. This, in my opinion, would be the first step to mitigating this problem.
What do you guys think about this topic? Should society put more effort in supporting men emotionally? Do you think society pays more attention to the emotional well-being of women and ignores the emotional needs of men? Let us know in the comment section below!
1. http://heavy.com/news/2017/04/joy-lane- steve-stephens- girlfriend-photos- photo-wife-
ex-stevie- steve-facebook- live-cleveland/
2. http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/01/us/san-diego- shooting/